For many women, the way they understand birth changes dramatically after they experience it for themselves. What once seemed like a straightforward medical event can become something much deeper, revealing the importance of preparation, support, informed decision-making, and the people invited into the birth space. For Jamie Bennett, three very different birth experiences did more than shape the way she viewed childbirth. They eventually led her directly into a calling to support other women as a doula.
In this episode of the Pain Free Birth Podcast, Jamie shares the full-circle journey from entering her first pregnancy largely uninformed, to experiencing two difficult hospital births, to preparing for a redemptive home birth with her third baby. That third birth transformed the way Jamie viewed her body, motherhood, faith, and her own ability to make decisions outside of what everyone else was doing.
But Jamie’s story did not end with her own healing birth. After taking the Pain Free Birth course and eventually joining the Pain Free Birth team, she spent years behind the scenes hearing women’s questions and reading their birth stories. Over time, the woman who had once been terrified of birth realized she was being called back into the birth room, this time to help other women navigate the journey she once struggled to navigate herself. Today, Jamie is a doula serving families through both hospital and home births, carrying with her the lessons of all three of her own birth experiences.
Entering Her First Pregnancy Without Knowing What She Did Not Know
During her first pregnancy, Jamie did what many first-time mothers naturally do. She trusted her doctors, chose the OB that everyone else seemed to use, and assumed the maternity care system would guide her through pregnancy and birth. Looking back, Jamie describes herself as classically uninformed. She did not yet know which questions to ask or how much the philosophy of a provider could shape a woman’s experience.
Still, something about her care did not feel right. Even sitting in the office during appointments, Jamie sensed a disconnect between the way she was being treated and the way she wanted to experience pregnancy. At 30 weeks, she made what felt like a major and frightening decision at the time and switched from her OB to a midwife.
The difference was immediately noticeable. Jamie remembers becoming emotional during her first appointment because the environment and conversation felt so different. Her midwife reminded her that she was not sick and did not need to be treated as though pregnancy itself were an illness. Even details like softer lighting and the tone of the appointment made Jamie feel that she had entered a completely different model of care.
Switching providers was an important step, but Jamie still had much to learn about physiological birth and labor support. When labor began, her baby was asynclitic, and Jamie experienced an extremely long and difficult labor with very little progress. Looking back now with the knowledge she has gained through birth education and doula training, Jamie can recognize moments when additional support might have changed the way she navigated that labor.
She wonders what might have been different if an experienced doula had been beside her, noticing how hard she was working without corresponding cervical progress and suggesting position changes or other techniques that could support fetal positioning. At the time, however, Jamie did not have that knowledge or support available to her.
Eventually, exhausted after a prolonged labor, she chose an epidural. Jamie is able to look back at that decision with nuance. In that moment, she was incredibly depleted, and she believes the epidural was a good use of the resources available to her. At the same time, it was not what she had originally wanted for her birth.
The postpartum period was difficult as well. Jamie needed surgery after birth, breastfeeding was challenging, and physical pain affected those early days of bonding and recovery. The experience became her first lesson in something she would come to understand much more deeply over the years: birth matters. The way a woman experiences birth can follow her into postpartum, motherhood, and even future pregnancies.
Wanting a Different Second Birth Without Changing Enough
When Jamie became pregnant with her second baby, she entered the experience more determined. She knew she wanted something different, but she also admits that she did not change very much about the support surrounding her. She did not hire a doula or significantly restructure her birth team. Instead, she hoped that knowing more and being more determined would be enough.
At first, her second labor seemed to confirm that things would be different. Jamie arrived at the hospital at six centimeters, already much farther along than when she had gone to the hospital during her first labor. She felt calm and was coping beautifully. Her midwife even commented on how well she seemed to be doing.
Then the environment began to change the experience. Jamie remembers a nurse repeatedly asking whether she wanted an epidural and encouraging her to sign the paperwork in case she changed her mind. Jamie wanted to labor in the tub, but she was discouraged from getting in at that point. Looking back, she can easily imagine herself responding differently now, but in labor, she found it difficult to advocate for herself.
That realization became significant later. Women often prepare for birth by creating preferences and deciding what they hope to do, but labor is not always the easiest moment to debate, analyze, explain, or repeatedly defend those choices. Jamie began to understand why continuous support matters and why having someone beside a laboring mother who already knows her desires can make such a difference.
Eventually, Jamie chose an epidural again. This time, however, it completely failed.
Her baby was posterior, and Jamie was experiencing an intensely difficult labor without the relief she had expected from the epidural. Even more frustratingly, she felt as though she had to convince the people around her that it truly was not working. Because she had experienced an epidural during her first birth, Jamie knew what it was supposed to feel like. She knew this was different.
The experience left her feeling alone and unprepared. She had relied on the epidural as a backup plan, only to discover that an epidural itself cannot guarantee a particular labor experience. It may not work as expected, it may not be available at the exact moment a woman wants it, or circumstances may change too quickly.
For Jamie, that second birth became a turning point. She had now given birth twice, and both times she had walked away knowing that the experience was not what she had hoped for. By the time she became pregnant with her third baby, determination had replaced resignation. She knew she could not simply repeat the same approach and hope for a different result.
Asking Hard Questions During Her Third Pregnancy
During her third pregnancy, Jamie approached provider selection differently. Instead of assuming a provider was aligned with her because they were popular or came recommended, she came prepared with questions. She wanted to understand how the person caring for her actually practiced, what options would be supported, and how much autonomy she would have in making decisions.
Two conversations stood out. One involved alternatives to the standard gestational diabetes drink. Jamie had already contacted the laboratory associated with the practice and learned that an alternative was possible, but when she asked her provider about it, she was told they simply did not do that there. The answer made Jamie question how her preferences would be handled when they fell outside of the provider’s normal routine.
The second conversation was even more revealing. Jamie asked what the provider thought about doulas and whether hiring one would be beneficial. The provider responded that doulas were great but warned Jamie against hiring from a particular company because those doulas were always telling women what they did not have to do.
For Jamie, that answer exposed a deeper philosophical difference. She wanted support that welcomed informed questions and respected a woman’s ability to understand her options. She did not want education or advocacy to be viewed as an inconvenience.
The experience reinforced why provider interviews can be so valuable early in pregnancy. Waiting until 40 or 41 weeks to discover how a provider handles induction, birth positions, testing, interventions, or informed refusal can leave a woman feeling trapped. Asking those questions earlier creates space to make thoughtful decisions before labor is imminent.
After that appointment, Jamie and her husband drove home in near silence. Finally, Jamie voiced the possibility she had been trying to avoid: was she going to have to give birth at home?
Choosing Home Birth Even Though She Was Afraid
Home birth was not an easy or obvious choice for Jamie. She had not spent her whole life dreaming of giving birth at home, and she did not enter the decision with complete confidence. In fact, she was afraid.
Her husband had a very different perspective. He had been born at home himself, his mother had five home births, and he had even witnessed some of his siblings being born. Home birth was familiar to him, and he had confidence that Jamie could do it. Jamie was the one who needed time to believe it.
She even interviewed another hospital midwife, hoping there might still be a way to create the experience she wanted within the hospital. During that conversation, something unexpected happened. After hearing what Jamie was looking for, the hospital midwife asked whether she had considered giving birth at home.
Eventually, Jamie interviewed a home birth midwife and knew she had found the right fit. At 20 weeks, she transferred her care.
The experience of prenatal care was deeply emotional because it felt so different from what she had known before. She felt increasingly prepared and confident, but the fears did not instantly disappear. That became another important lesson. Preparing for an empowered birth does not mean a woman must reach a point where she never experiences fear.
Some fears can be addressed through education, preparation, prayer, and understanding. Others have to be faced as we move forward. Jamie was still nervous about home birth, but she was also increasingly confident that this was where she was being led.
The Words That Changed the Entire Tone of Her Home Birth
When labor began, Jamie contacted her midwife and doula. Her doula suggested starting the Miles Circuit while she made her way to the house, so Jamie got onto the floor and began the first position.
She hated it.
The position did not feel good, she did not want to be there, and everything in her body was telling her she wanted to do something different. Still, Jamie thought this was what she was supposed to be doing, so she tried to follow the instructions.
Her midwife arrived first and asked how she was doing. Jamie explained that she was supposed to be doing the Miles Circuit but could not keep doing it. Her midwife responded with words that would set the tone for the rest of the birth: Jamie did not have to do anything.
The statement sounds simple, but for Jamie it was profound. Even after changing providers, educating herself, and intentionally preparing for a different birth, part of her was still waiting for someone else to tell her what to do. The habit of following instructions and asking permission had not disappeared simply because she was giving birth at home.
From that moment forward, Jamie began following her body. When she wanted to stand, she stood. When she wanted to move, she moved. She spent time on the floor and later wanted to go to her bed. There was no constant questioning about whether she was progressing correctly or following the expected timeline.
Jamie never had a cervical check during the labor. At one point, she asked whether everything was okay with the baby because she was still learning what monitoring looked like outside of a hospital. Her midwife simply asked whether hearing the baby would make her feel more comfortable. Jamie said yes, and she received the reassurance she needed without disrupting the flow of her labor.
The experience felt personal, responsive, and intuitive.
A Euphoric and Redemptive Home Birth
Eventually, Jamie reached transition while sitting on the toilet. Her midwife gently told her that if she wanted to get into the birth tub, now would probably be the time unless she wanted to have her baby right there.
Jamie got into the tub, and around that time, her older daughters woke up. It had been important to Jamie that they have the opportunity to witness their sister’s birth. They did not have to be present throughout the entire labor, but they were there when their baby sister entered the world.
After two difficult birth experiences, Jamie finally experienced the birth she had been praying for. She describes it as joyful, euphoric, and deeply redemptive. There was an overwhelming sense of having done something she once did not believe she could do.
The experience did not erase everything that had happened in her first two births. Instead, it gave those experiences new context. Jamie now knew firsthand that birth could feel different. She had experienced what it was like to be supported in following her body rather than constantly looking outside herself for direction.
That birth became a defining moment in Jamie’s life, but not simply because she got the outcome she wanted. It changed the way she understood surrender, faith, and her own capacity to move through difficult things.
How Home Birth Changed Jamie’s Faith
Throughout her third pregnancy, Jamie had been praying not only for a specific kind of birth but also for the ability to surrender the outcome. For her, birth became an experience of recognizing the limits of control.
Women can prepare deeply for birth. They can educate themselves, choose aligned providers, hire doulas, practice comfort measures, understand their options, and create an environment that supports physiology. Jamie believes women can also bring their desires before God and ask boldly for the birth they hope to experience.
At the same time, birth still requires surrender.
During that season, the words “Taste and see that the Lord is good” had been deeply meaningful to Jamie. Her birth ultimately felt like an experience of that goodness. It deepened her prayer life and her relationship with God, not merely because she received the outcome she wanted, but because of what she learned through trusting Him when she could not control the outcome.
Jamie began to see birth as deeply spiritual and transformative. In her experience, the process was not separate from her faith. Birth revealed strength, vulnerability, surrender, and dependence in a way that reshaped her understanding of herself.
The Confidence of Birth Followed Her Into Motherhood
The transformation did not stay inside the birth room. After her home birth, Jamie noticed that she stopped asking permission in other areas of her life.
She became increasingly comfortable making decisions that were outside of what everyone else around her was doing. Her family eventually moved across the country. She began homeschooling her children. She pursued work and opportunities that did not necessarily fit into a conventional box.
The common thread was a new confidence that she could do difficult things and make thoughtful decisions for herself and her family.
Years later, when Jamie encounters something hard, she can still draw from what she experienced in birth. She remembers that she has already faced something that once frightened her deeply and come through it transformed.
Jamie does not describe her home birth as effortless. When a family member asked immediately afterward how difficult it really was, Jamie’s response was that it was completely doable. Birth was hard, but hard did not mean impossible, dangerous, or something she needed to fear.
That distinction became foundational to the way she would eventually support other mothers.
Understanding Why Her Difficult Births Still Mattered
As transformative as Jamie’s third birth was, she does not dismiss her first two births as meaningless experiences she simply needed to overcome.
Over time, she began to see how much they had taught her.
There were seasons when she questioned why those births needed to be so difficult and why she had not discovered everything she now knew during her first pregnancy. Eventually, she began to understand those experiences through the lens of her calling.
Jamie knew what it felt like to be the woman struggling through a hospital labor without the tools she wished she had. She knew what it felt like to have difficulty advocating for herself. She knew what it was like to place confidence in an epidural and then experience one that failed. She also knew what it felt like to find aligned care, prepare intentionally, surrender fear, and experience birth as empowering.
In Jamie’s words, she had learned the way out, and now she could go back in for somebody else.
That realization captures much of why she ultimately became a doula.
From Pain Free Birth Student to Working Behind the Scenes
Jamie’s relationship with Pain Free Birth began when she was preparing for her own third birth and took the Pain Free Birth course. The message resonated with her because it reflected what she was beginning to understand about physiological birth while also acknowledging the spiritual significance she personally experienced in the process.
Eventually, Jamie began working for Pain Free Birth. Behind the scenes, she became deeply immersed in women’s stories. She read podcast submissions, communicated with mothers, heard their questions, and watched women navigate situations with providers that often mirrored parts of her own experience.
The work became an in-between space for Jamie. She was deeply involved in the birth world without yet attending births professionally.
Then Pain Free Birth launched its doula certification program. Jamie watched the first cohort go through the training and saw what women were learning. The second cohort came, and the pull became stronger.
She realized this was not simply something she enjoyed watching other women do. She wanted to be part of it.
Choosing to Become a Faith-Based Doula
When Jamie decided to become a doula, choosing where to train mattered deeply to her. She did not want birth support separated from the way she personally understood birth. Her faith was central to her life, and she felt closest to God when she was around birth.
That did not mean she expected every client to share her beliefs or that she needed to force faith into every birth room. It meant she wanted her training and business to be authentic to who she was.
Jamie initially could have viewed being openly Christian as something that might limit her business. Instead, she discovered the opposite. Women began telling her that seeing she was a Christian was specifically what encouraged them to reach out.
That experience taught Jamie an important lesson about doula work: authenticity matters. A doula does not need to appeal to every pregnant woman. The goal is to connect with the families who genuinely align with who she is and the kind of support she offers.
Jamie now approaches consultations with that mindset. She wants potential clients to interview other doulas and listen to their intuition. After consultations, she prays that each woman will find the right doula. If that is Jamie, she asks God to equip her for that birth. If it is someone else, she wants that to be clear too.
For Jamie, that mindset creates confidence rather than insecurity. She trusts that she will be in the birth rooms where she is meant to serve.
From a Three-to-Five-Year Plan to Booking Four Births in Two Months
When Jamie began her doula business, she expected growth to be slow. She told her husband that this was a three-to-five-year vision. Her family had moved from Arizona to Green Bay, Wisconsin, and she needed to learn an entirely new birth community. She did not yet know all of the local doulas, midwives, hospitals, and birth options.
She was also homeschooling her children, breastfeeding her own baby, working for Pain Free Birth, and balancing family life. There were plenty of practical reasons to assume building a doula business would take years.
Instead, within her first two months, Jamie booked four births and turned down four others.
She gives God the glory for how quickly the business grew, but she also recognizes practical steps that helped her begin confidently. One of the biggest was learning how to communicate authentically online. Jamie did not begin with an elaborate website or expensive advertising campaign. She started posting on Instagram.
She learned how to speak directly to the kind of woman she wanted to serve. She stopped worrying about whether every opinion would appeal to everyone and allowed her content to reflect who she actually was.
She also learned how to conduct consultations confidently, prepare families during prenatal visits, support partners, advocate appropriately, and understand when to step forward and when to step back. Those business and relationship skills proved to be just as important as knowing comfort measures for labor.
Why Doula Work Begins Long Before Labor
Jamie’s experience has shown her that being an effective doula is about much more than showing up when contractions begin.
Prenatal preparation gives the doula and mother time to build a relationship, discuss fears, understand preferences, practice positions, and prepare for situations that may arise during labor. That work allows a woman to enter birth having already thought through questions she otherwise might encounter for the first time in an intense moment.
It also builds trust.
Jamie understands firsthand how difficult it can be to advocate for yourself while laboring. She remembers being the woman who knew she wanted something but still found herself following instructions because challenging them in the moment felt overwhelming.
Now she gets to help mothers prepare before that moment arrives.
That preparation also builds a doula’s confidence. Jamie knows there may be a moment in labor when a mother looks directly at her and needs to borrow her confidence. The doula does not need to know everything or pretend she never feels nervous, but she does need to be grounded enough to remind the mother of her own strength and preparation.
Discovering That Empowered Hospital Birth Is Possible Too
Jamie’s own experiences could easily have led her to believe that the only place for an empowering physiological birth is at home. Her early doula work has challenged that assumption in a beautiful way.
One of the births she attended was an induced hospital birth that showed Jamie what supportive hospital care can look like. The midwife consistently asked for consent before doing anything, and the nurse genuinely wanted to help the mother achieve the unmedicated birth she desired.
For Jamie, witnessing that birth was freeing. After seeing so many birth stories and personally experiencing difficult hospital births, she was able to witness the kind of respectful hospital experience she wishes more women could have.
It also confirmed that she feels called to serve in both spaces.
Some doulas choose to attend only home births, and Jamie respects that choice. But her own story has given her a heart for women in multiple settings. She knows what it feels like to give birth in the hospital, and she knows what it feels like to give birth at home. She believes she can bring valuable support into both environments.
Creating Sustainable Doula Work Without Sacrificing Her Family
One of Jamie’s early lessons as a doula was learning that saying yes to this calling also requires knowing when to say no.
Turning down her first potential client was unexpectedly emotional. The woman’s due date fell during an annual family trip Jamie had taken every year since childhood. Jamie wanted to serve her, but she also understood that building a sustainable doula career meant creating boundaries around the things that mattered to her family.
Her mother gave her permission to pursue the birth if being a doula truly was her dream, and that support meant deeply to Jamie. Still, Jamie ultimately recognized that sustainability would require wisdom about how many clients she accepted and when she remained on call.
She describes herself as a heavily invested doula. When she says yes to a family, she wants to be fully present. That means she cannot say yes to everyone.
This has become part of her philosophy of birth work. Success is not simply filling a calendar with as many births as possible. It is creating a life where she can continue serving women with joy while remaining present for her own family.
When Your Own Birth Story Becomes Part of Your Calling
Jamie’s story is ultimately about much more than moving from hospital birth to home birth. It is about what can happen when a woman allows her experiences to teach her, change her, and eventually become something she uses in service of others.
Her first birth taught her how much she did not know. Her second showed her the limits of relying on determination alone without changing her support. Her third taught her what it felt like to be trusted, to follow her body, to surrender, and to experience birth as joyful and redemptive.
Then those experiences followed her into her work.
The woman who once wished she had a doula now gets to be that doula for someone else. The woman who struggled to advocate for herself now helps other mothers understand their choices before labor begins. The woman who was once afraid of birth now walks confidently into birth rooms because she understands both how vulnerable birth can feel and how powerful women can become through it.
For women who feel a similar nudge toward birth work, Jamie’s encouragement is simple. There will always be practical reasons to wait. Motherhood, breastfeeding, finances, family schedules, fear, training, and the vulnerability of putting yourself out there can all make becoming a doula feel inconvenient or intimidating.
But there may also be a woman somewhere who needs exactly what your experiences have taught you.
Jamie describes doula work as one of the most joyful and fulfilling things she has ever done. The relationships formed with families extend beyond a single birth, and there is tremendous honor in knowing you played even a small role in helping a family welcome their baby into the world.
Her journey is proof that the experiences that once left you asking why may eventually become the experiences that equip you to serve someone else.
Sometimes birth changes the way you see your body. Sometimes it changes the way you mother. Sometimes it deepens your faith and teaches you to surrender what you cannot control. And sometimes the birth that transforms you becomes the beginning of a calling to walk back into that sacred space and help another woman discover what birth can be.
More about Jamie:
Jamie is a mom to three girls and lives in Green Bay, Wisconsin, where she currently serves families as a birth doula. She homeschools her girls and also works alongside Karen as her assistant at Pain Free Birth. When she’s not talking birth, you’ll probably find her tending to her chickens and garden, out for a walk, or curled up with her Kindle.
Want to Experience a Faith-Filled Birth Too?
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