Birth is never just about bringing a baby into the world. It is also about transformation — of the mother, of her family, and of her faith. For Tommi Kirkpatrick, a mother of six, each of her births became a chapter in a much larger story — one that wove together moments of overwhelm, unexpected strength, deep brokenness, and ultimately, supernatural beauty.
Her journey shows us that no two births are alike, that motherhood can refine us in ways we never expect, and that sometimes the very thing that feels like it will break us becomes the gift that makes us stronger.
A First Birth Without Her Husband
Tommi’s journey into motherhood began while her husband was deployed to Iraq with the Marine Corps. Welcoming her first child without him by her side was a bittersweet experience.
“It was every emotion you can imagine,” she shared. “It was sad that he wasn’t there. And yet at the same time, to have this village of women really changed something for me.”
Despite the absence of her husband, Tommi describes that first birth as powerful and awe-inspiring. The moment her baby was placed in her arms, she surprised even herself:
“As soon as he was born, my first words were, ‘Oh, I wanna do that again.’ I thought, what is happening? This is crazy. This is not what I thought birth was.”
That moment sparked something in her. Instead of feeling fear about birth, Tommi felt a new kind of joy. And as soon as her husband returned home when their son was three months old, the couple conceived again.
A Second Birth at Home
By the time Tommi prepared for her second child, she was determined to experience birth differently. She and her husband chose to have a home birth with the help of midwives.
At first, Tommi found herself overly focused on relaxing, almost to the point of passivity. “Looking back now, I realized I didn’t really know I could be a participant in labor. I was just letting this thing happen to me, like a passive part of it.”
Her midwives gently reminded her that it was time to engage. She recalls being encouraged to step outside, sway her hips, and move her body to help labor progress.
That shift changed everything.
Her son was born “like a roaring lion” in the water, with her husband present for the first time. The birth felt magical and foreshadowed the fiery personality of her second child.
Pregnancy and Creativity With Her Daughter
Eighteen months later, Tommi found herself pregnant again, this time while transitioning out of military life. The family had moved from North Carolina to Boston, and her husband had started school.
This third pregnancy felt different from the start. Tommi carried an unshakable sense that she was having a daughter — and with that came an overwhelming craving to be creative.
“I’m a poet and a singer, but not really pen-to-paper or paints-to-canvas creative,” she explained. “But with that pregnancy, it was so strong. And don’t you know, I gave birth to a daughter. She’s now thirteen and the most wildly, magically creative artist I’ve ever known.”
The birth unfolded in their living room, surrounded by care and beauty. It was her first experience of how a child’s unique gifts might already be expressed in pregnancy and birth.
The Breaking and the Gift of Baby Number Four
Tommi’s fourth pregnancy came unexpectedly, at a time when she was already raising three children under the age of three. The news overwhelmed her.
“I threw my head out our tiny city house window into the rain and just cried because I thought, I don’t think I can do this. I’m so tired.”
Yet what felt like the breaking point became a turning point.
“This was the one that kind of broke me, but then it built me. It built me back up.”
Tommi realized that motherhood was not meant to be carried alone. Her fourth birth, which took place in a cozy birth center in Philadelphia, became a profound moment of intimacy with her husband. Together they practiced mindfulness and meditation during labor, speaking words like calm, joy, peace, and love with each contraction.
It was also the first time she experienced the fetal ejection reflex, a spontaneous and powerful pushing stage that surprised her with its intensity.
Reflecting on the season of life surrounding that birth, Tommi said:
“When you have your first few kids, you’re still trying to prove that you can do it all as a mother. But by your third or fourth, you’re broken. And I feel like that’s the gift. You can’t do it alone, and you need to start learning to ask for help. You need a community.”
Baby Number Five: Fear and Postpartum Depression
While her fourth birth had been empowering, Tommi’s fifth pregnancy shook her confidence. She carried fear throughout the pregnancy, and by the time she arrived at the birth center, she felt completely incapable.
“For the first time in all my births, I thought, I can’t do this. And I told my midwives, ‘I need help. I think I need an epidural.’”
Within moments, she was rushed across the street to the hospital, where she delivered quickly and unexpectedly.
Her baby was born healthy, but the experience left Tommi reeling.
“I would’ve taken street meds from a back alley if they had offered it. I didn’t care. I just needed something.”
The birth was followed by her first battle with postpartum depression, compounded by a tragic loss when a close family friend’s child was killed in a lightning strike. The weight of grief and depression, combined with raising five children, became overwhelming.
“I was broken,” she said honestly. “I started having panic attacks. I felt like I was drowning. It was very difficult, and we didn’t have the resources for help. I had to get creative to find support.”
Despite the darkness, Tommi sees this season as transformative. With no financial means to outsource help, she leaned on community, her church, and prayer. It became a time of growth, forcing her to discover strength she didn’t know she had.
Healing, Faith, and Rebuilding
For six years after her fifth child, Tommi focused on healing. She explored therapy, mindfulness, inner child work, and nervous system regulation. She leaned deeply on her faith, asking God again and again for the strength to keep going.
“There’s always hope,” she said. “God created our bodies and our brains. They are miracles. Healing is more than possible. It is the way.”
Slowly, she rebuilt her confidence and her sense of identity as a woman and mother.
A Surprise Sixth Baby
Just when Tommi thought she was finished having children, God had other plans. At forty, she heard His voice asking her to hold loosely the well-laid plans she had made for her life. Soon after, she and her husband conceived again.
Unlike her earlier pregnancies, Tommi prepared for this birth with intentionality. She immersed herself in education, studied the anatomy and stages of labor from scratch, and worked through a healing birth trauma course.
“I wanted a blank slate. I told myself, you know nothing. Let’s start over.”
The Pain-Free Birth She Never Expected
By the time she went into labor with her sixth baby, Tommi felt ready. Surrounded by her family, she labored at home with worship music playing, laughter filling the room, and her children close by.
“It was like coming home. There was so much laughter. When it was time, there was no pain, no fear, no nothing. I danced through it. I got in the tub, and he was born right away.”
As the song Oceans played in the background, her husband called their baby by name, welcoming him into the world with joy.
Tommi describes this sixth birth as her first pain-free birth — something she had never believed possible until it happened to her.
“Zero pain. I would not believe that if I had not experienced it. There’s no pain. And when you know how to cooperate with the pressure of your baby arriving from heaven through your body, there’s no pain. It blows my mind.”
What Six Births Taught Her About Motherhood
Tommi’s six births were each unique, but together they created a tapestry of lessons about life, motherhood, and faith:
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Birth reflects who we are becoming. Each child’s birth revealed aspects of their personality and invited Tommi to grow in new ways.
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Brokenness is a gift. The seasons that felt impossible taught her humility, dependence on others, and the value of community.
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Healing is possible. Even after postpartum depression and traumatic birth, she experienced full healing and a redemptive birth.
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Birth is a pep talk for life. Her sixth, pain-free birth became a reminder of her God-given strength — something she draws on whenever life feels overwhelming.
Final Reflections
Tommi’s story is a testimony to the resilience of mothers and the power of birth to shape not only our children but also ourselves. From her first unexpected words — “I want to do that again” — to her supernatural pain-free sixth birth, her journey shows that birth is sacred, transformative, and deeply intertwined with faith.
Her message to mothers is simple but profound:
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You are strong enough.
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You can’t do it alone — and you’re not meant to.
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Healing is possible, even after the hardest seasons.
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Birth can be more beautiful, more joyful, and even more pain-free than you imagine.
More about Tommi:
Want to Experience a Faith-Filled Birth Too?
If you’re ready to transform your mindset and birth with peace and purpose, check out the free Unlocking a Pain Free Birth Masterclass. Discover the 3 keys to a Pain-Free birth so you can experience the joyful, supernatural power of birth the way God designed it.
