If you have been on the fence about having an unmedicated birth, especially if you’ve had medicated births in the past, this story is going to be so inspiring to you. Whether you’re currently planning a hospital birth or you simply want to hear an encouraging birth story Jilda is here to share her transformational story with us. After having two medicated hospital births that left her traumatized with epidurals gone wrong, she decided that her third birth was going to be unmedicated in the hospital. In most parts of the United States, that is unheard of! Tune in as Jilda shares her she determined her birth plan, if the hospital staff honored her plan, and the peaceful environment she was blessed to give birth in.
CONNECT WITH JILDA CONNELL:
Jilda is a proud mother of three hailing from New Jersey. Her journey is all about empowering women, especially postpartum moms, through fitness. With years of dedication as a fitness instructor, Jilda’s had the honor of transforming lives through group exercise, advocating for self-care and holistic health. Currently pursuing her doula license, her passion for nutrition during and after pregnancy drives her forward. Amidst the ebb and flow of motherhood, Jilda’s resilience has soared while exercising her body and spirit through every one of her pregnancies. With her heart ablaze, she seeks to be a guiding light of support and positive change in every life she encounters.
Instagram: @jacked.withjil
KAREN: Welcome back friends. Today. I’m interviewing Jilda Connell, who is a mother of three from New Jersey and a fitness instructor, and she’s going to be sharing with us her transformational birth that she had with her third birth after having two births in the hospital that were medicated. This one she had in the hospital unmedicated, and it was a completely different experience. So if you have been on the fence about, can you really do unmedicated, especially if you’ve had medicated births or you’re planning a hospital birth, or you just want to hear an encouraging birth story, this one is gonna be a treat.
So welcome to the show, Jilda.
JILDA: Hi, thank you so much for having me here. I am so So, so excited. I really am. Oh,
KAREN: I’m so glad to have you. And I love hearing birth stories, especially empowering ones in the hospital, because we just don’t have enough of those. So tell us a little bit about what made you decide to go for a natural birth with your third.
JILDA: So my previous two Birth experiences had a little bit of trauma around it and I had to get induced twice and I found that to be such a long and painful and scary procedure for me. The medicine, the Pitocin , the Foley bulb, like all of these things. that I wasn’t prepared for. I, I had no idea.
I thought an induction was very simple, but it’s not. And wow. That’s a big
KAREN: misnomer that I think women don’t really understand is how complicated inductions can be.
JILDA: Yeah.
KAREN: And were you induced for going over your due date or for a medical condition?
JILDA: I wouldn’t even necessarily call it a medical condition because with my first it was on my due date and I had gotten a scan and they said my son’s blood pressure was dropping a little bit, but it wasn’t enough. Now, okay, now that I know more to, to get an induction because there was nothing wrong with him.
But as a first time mom, I’m petrified. I’m like, okay, well you do whatever you got to do to get him here to you safely. So that was my first induction and I was not ready at all. I was not even dilated a little bit for that. So they had to start from the beginning and it was very long, very, very long.
How long did it take? It was about 32 hours and I pushed for almost six hours. Yeah. Yeah.
KAREN: And they started you with the Foley ball with probably like side attack and then Pitocin. Yes. And it takes so long just to get you to be dilated or faced before the contractions even start. And then the Pitocin.
And then you probably got epidural at some point for six hours.
JILDA: Right. And on top of it, after he was born my amniotic fluid became infected because I was checked so many times. So I had a fever. He was rushed to the NICU and I’m like, I never want to go through this again. Like I almost didn’t want to have another baby again.
It was scary. You know,
KAREN: Nikki stays are horrible. Yeah. And did you, what, what, what were you feeling by the end of that? Were you like, none of this had to happen this way? Were you mad or were you just like, I don’t know if I ever want to have kids again?
JILDA: Both. And once I learned a little bit more about like the, the dips and the blood pressure, I realized he could have just been laying on the wrong spot at the wrong time and they picked it up, you know?
KAREN: Yeah. Like one dip in one reading, was it his heart tones or your blood pressure?
JILDA: Oh, you know what? I did say blood pressure. It was actually his heart rate. Yeah. Not his blood pressure. My blood pressure was, was probably sky rising at that point, but no, it was his heart. His heart tone.
KAREN: Yeah. Yeah. So that’s why they induced you. Cause they picked that up on a prenatal. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. And that, you know, that could be, like you said, for a variety of reasons, but maybe he’s leaning on the cord or, you know, or the machine just didn’t pick it up for, for a moment there.
I’ve seen everyone freak out in a hospital delivery before when the, like, they just missed a heart tone and it looked like a dip, but There was nothing wrong with the baby, but sometimes, you know, those things can be really scary and you don’t know, is this a real emergency? Is it not? And you want to, you trust the people who are advising you.
So your second one was another induction. Was that one different or similar?
JILDA: So the second induction it was a lot smoother. I know expect at the time, but I actually had to do a elective. induction because I had no childcare at home. And based upon, my due date, I needed childcare for that week.
And it was the only week I could get help. So I said, okay, let’s pick this date. I know that somebody is going to be able to watch my son at home and I had to do what I had to do. Yeah. I wasn’t happy about it. I really wanted to, to see when. My second son would just come on his own, but I had to get induced again.
It went a lot smoother that time though. What made you decide to go natural for the third?
So for the third, I said, I am never going to get induced again. I don’t want to go through it. feel everything. Both
KAREN: of
JILDA: my epidurals. I had to get my epidural the first time, three times, so it didn’t really work that well.
KAREN: Wow.
JILDA: And I developed an epidural, like the final headache, so that was a little traumatic. The second epidural, you know, same thing, it just didn’t, one leg worked. So I said, I’m not going through this ever again, ever again.
KAREN: Yeah.
JILDA: So following you for as long as I have, I’m like, I follow her. I love her. I need to just like actually dive in and do this now. So I started with the hypnobirthing and I was reading all the books and doing the courses and I changed my mindset. And I said, this is going to be the time that I can have the birth that I always dreamed of.
And you gave me that confidence. as well. And my friends thought I was crazy, but I’m like, you know what? This isn’t for anybody else, but, but for me.
KAREN: That’s so good. Cause a lot of women ask me, like, how do I stand up to like all the naysayers and all the people who are judging me? Like, what would you say to those women?
JILDA: Hey, our aunts, our grandmothers, our moms, you know, all the older generation while they most likely had unmedicated births, right, today they’ll say to us, like, why would you want to go through that pain? And it’s not even about that. I don’t want to go through all of the interventions. I want it to be an easy, beautiful experience and you have to train yourself to get there. You know? Bye bye. Yeah, and you’ve
KAREN: experienced it the other way. You know what they offer and you’re like, I’m not interested in that. So it’s not like you are, you know, inexperienced in the way that it’s done, you know, with all the medications and induction side.
And so I think that’s beautiful. And a lot of women hit that place where they’re like, never again, never again, am I going to go through that? And there’s, there’s a better way. So and I love what, what you said there about like, it’s not for them. It’s for you. It’s for you and your baby and your family.
And that’s, that is your decision to make. And you don’t have to convince anyone of that decision. And I love the freedom in that. I love the permission in that, that I hope women hear that who are struggling with You know, do I go after the birth that I want that the dream birth that I have in the face of knowing they’ll be judged or criticized or ridiculed.
And at the end of the day, it’s not for anyone else, but you and your baby and your family, did you advocate for yourself in the hospital and set up a different kind of birth experience for this third one?
JILDA: So I had a birth plan that I wrote out a few months before I delivered and I had shared it with my OB and I loved my OB.
They were very on board with what I wanted to do. Nobody gave me any type of pushback and they said, you know, in hospital settings, we are seeing more unmedicated births now, so we’re a little bit more, you know on board for it. I guess. Where I am, where I live in, in my town, there’s been a lot of women who have been having unmedicated births.
So I think it’s just a little bit more common now than not. Women are taking more control of their births thanks to people like you and your platform and a lot of other women who are helping. Women advocate for themselves. So, yeah. What did that process look
KAREN: like for you?
JILDA: Yeah, I found a different team. And like I said, my birth plan, I told them exactly what I wanted, exactly what I didn’t want, even down to, you know, me saying, I don’t want any students in the room, like I was very, very specific. Yeah. Yeah. And the midwife who was in the room with me was absolutely lovely and she supported my plan.
KAREN: So you went to a midwife with this one. Were you with midwives with the previous or not?
JILDA: No, I wasn’t. No, but she was a midwife, a part of the hospital because next to the hospital is like the whole midwifery program, but. The midwives also helped deliver at the hospital that I went to.
KAREN: Yeah. What was that difference like to go from, you know, doctors or OBs to midwifery care?
JILDA: Oh, it’s just absolutely night and day. I didn’t feel like I was in this sterile environment, you know, I felt more at home It was just so quiet. My husband and I joke about it.
And I think the reason why I was able to deliver her with such grace and peace was because of how quiet it was. And at home I have two kids, you know, I’m constantly overstimulated. Being in this quiet room just felt so peaceful to me.
KAREN: Wow. That’s not how most people describe a hospital room.
JILDA: No, I know.
And they, you know, the hospital truly is like a beach. Virtua. Virtua and Voorhees. They just opened up this beautiful new wing and they have a bed for the dad. They have showers, they have tubs in their bathroom. So Voorhees in New Jersey, by the way. That’s kind of why I wanted to go there. It was five minutes down the road from my house and That’s where I wanted to go. This was
KAREN: a birth center or a hospital?
JILDA: It was a
KAREN: hospital, but there, there was
JILDA: a
KAREN: birth center next to it. Okay, but you were in the hospital and they had these nice, beautiful new rooms.
Yes. Yes. Amazing. That’s so great. And I love that there’s a push for that because you know what women and families are speaking up saying we want better care. We want care that feels like we’re at home. That’s not all medicalized and sterilized. And this was a different environment than the first two you, you had your babies at.
So you made a switch to go from doctors to midwifery care. And you went to a different hospital that had a much different environment because environment makes a big difference. Thanks.
JILDA: Yeah, yeah, it does.
KAREN: So you’re taking some serious steps to take back your power and own your birth experience. You’re making choices. You’re writing your birth plan and putting intention into that. You switched providers, you switched hospitals. When push came to shove, how was this birth different than your other births?
What was your experience like this time with your preparation?
JILDA: I was reading books every night. I was meditating. I was visualizing how I wanted my birth to be. I didn’t know the gender of my baby and with two boys at home, I just had a little bit of a different feeling this time.
I kind of knew that I was going to have a girl. I just felt it. Being that this was my last as well, I wanted to make it the most amazing experience that I could. And. Once I was in that room, you know, everything all automatically just came together. It was very hands off, no cervical checks until the very, very end.
Doctors were not in and out of the room. They honored my plan. They honored that I didn’t want, you know, the hustle and bustle of everybody in the room. It was just my husband and I meditating and humming, you know, I hummed the entire time. And my husband said he felt like he was in a temple because just the whole time I’m like, Hmm, you know, just like humming and.
Like during the
KAREN: contractions that when they would come, you would hum through them.
JILDA: Yeah. Yeah. I would hum through them. And I actually sat on the toilet backwards with my hands over. And once the contraction came, I would hum and like the acoustics in the room it was just, it was peaceful.
It was peaceful. I didn’t feel that pain. It was just different. , I was prepared. And so you didn’t feel pain during those contractions? I felt the rise of the surge. You know, I felt, I felt it climbing and climbing and climbing. And then as soon as I felt like it got a lot, it just went away.
And I just kept telling myself, like, You’re not going to be here for that much longer.
KAREN: What a beautiful, empowering, thing to say to yourself, because the opposite would be like, Oh, I’m stuck here forever. How long is this going to take? And I feel like a lot of us can get in that loop, that negative loop of what’s how long will this be in this kind of dread and despair.
But I love that, that you’re like, Hey, I’m not going to be here forever. This comes and it goes, and you can handle it. What was going through your head? During these contractions in this birth experience, knowing that this is radically different than your other two birth experiences,
JILDA: I just kept saying to myself, all of my affirmations, which I didn’t do that, you know, with my other two,
KAREN: I didn’t
JILDA: have affirmations.
The only thing I was thinking about. With my other two was like, I can’t wait for this to be over. With this one, I was diving into it and I was saying, you’re doing it. You are doing what you wanted. And my husband was hyping me up and he was like, Jill, you’re doing so good. Like you’re doing this, you’re doing it.
And, and it just made me feel like on top of the world. And
KAREN: what were some of your favorite birth affirmations?
JILDA: I would say to myself. The pain is not greater than you because it is you. I would say that a lot. . I had like seven of them. And of course, like that was the first one that I think of, but I just kept praying as well and thanking God for giving me this experience as if it already happened the way I wanted it to be. Wow. I was saying, thank you God for, for giving me this amazing birth experience.
And I was saying that during the course of it as well.
KAREN: Like during the contractions. Yeah, during the
JILDA: contractions.
KAREN: What a radical shift that is. I don’t think women realize how much of an impact that has when our heart posture is to be thankful and grateful, even in the moment of experiencing that surge for being present with it instead of resisting it and trying to get away from it and, acting as if it’s going to hurt us or, or harm us.
But that, that heart shift. changes everything, doesn’t it?
JILDA: Yeah, absolutely. And my heart was so open this time around, and there was no fear this time. And I had so much fear with my other two, but this time I just was welcoming for it all. And You know, not once did I think I’m going to have to like turn around and take the medicine or get an epidural, I knew that those words needed to just be out of my mouth.
I didn’t even want Out of your
KAREN: vocabulary.
JILDA: Yeah, like I did not want I didn’t want to have to feel like I had to go back there, you know, like that was just, it was gone. Yeah.
KAREN: Yeah, and you it sounds like you were just so present and you’re in that moment and in your body and connected that there was no fear there was no like, how long will this take how, how much pain a man like you’re, you’re just not even in that state of mind you’re just like, enjoying it.
Dare I say, and like being grateful for
JILDA: it. Yes. Wait, I, I never get a chance to be in a quiet room. So like I was enjoying it for a second. I really was. I mean, it was lovely. It really was lovely. What made things so great for me was just having an incredible nurse, the midwife,
they honored my plan and they would say, well, all right, why don’t we go into this position? Let me give you a couple of tips and tricks. Once I was in the transition phase. The nurses and midwives they would suggest certain types of positions and that was really helpful because I was kind of like stuck just sitting on the toilet for a while. And while that felt good, all that pressure I was kind of stuck there and my water had not broken at that point.
So the midwife said, well, how do you feel about us breaking your water? And. It should progress really quickly after that. So I asked her to break my water and she checked me. I was eight centimeters dilated at that point. So I was like, I’m ready to go. I’ve been laboring in the hospital now for just about four or five hours.
Not too long, but I was ready to take it to the next step. So she broke my waters and like I said, I was eight centimeters at that point. And it was, it was maybe five minutes later. I went from an eight to a 10. Wow. And it happened really quick. That goes fast. Yeah. It can speed up after they break your water.
Yeah.
KAREN: For better. Yes. For better. It was probably intense too.
JILDA: It was intense. It was so intense. And I had a bulging water bag for about a week and don’t forget I was a week late as well. So I was on my hands and knees at that point and hugging the back of the hospital bed. On my knees. And I said to my nurse and the midwife, I said, I’m feeling really pushy.
And they’re like, well, you know, we just checked you, you were eight centimeters just, you know, a couple of minutes ago. I said, I don’t know. I really feel like the baby is, is about to start coming dropped the baby drop. And All they had to do was like, take a little peek. And the baby was just, you know, she started to come out.
KAREN: Oh, she like they could see her. They didn’t even have to check you. Yeah. Yeah, it was really fast. Because sometimes it takes hours to get from even 10 centimeters to like seeing the baby’s head, right? And doesn’t mean it’s you’re ready to push. Oh, right. It could still be really high in your birth canal.
And you might not be ready to push, but that, that’s a lot of progress in just a few minutes. In just a few minutes. It was bizarre. I mean, I couldn’t believe it. My husband was like, Oh my God, what’s happening. And I think it was the gravity. I really would love to tell any woman. That one of the best birthing positions is on your hands and knees.
JILDA: It’s, oh my God, I mean, join me, we will shout
KAREN: it from the
JILDA: roof rooftops. Yes. It’s just the best. I mean, you’re so, your, your body is just so open. I had my knees in my feet out, you know, the baby’s head was descending and you know, I learned that. From you. And
KAREN: you get the internal hip rotation to like, open up your pelvis, the knees and feet out gives your pelvis like 30 percent more room for baby to fit.
And then you’ve got gravity working in your favor instead of laying on your back where you’re actually pushing your baby uphill based on the way your pelvis, your pelvis is shaped, that baby has to travel uphill. That’s so much work that. Nobody needs to do most in most cases. And so, right. You’ve just loved this story.
So you’re on your hands and knees. They see baby. What, what happens next?
JILDA: I said, okay, well, can I start pushing? I’m like, I’m going to start pushing. I have to, they’re like, no, let’s go. Like you can do it. They’re like, oh my gosh,
KAREN: the baby’s right there.
JILDA: Yeah. Yeah. They were like, they’re like the babies, the babies right there.
Go for it girl. And it was so funny. This is so bizarre, but My dad, he was actually in the room. It was my husband and my dad. They had a sheet around me. And right when I was about to start pushing, I asked my dad to leave. He’s always been a really big supporter of you know, I lost my mom 15 years ago.
So he, Wanted to like always step up and be there for me. And I know it’s a bizarre type of connection, but my dad and I are very close and I love that I can share that experience with him. But the second it was time for me to push, I’m like, okay, you got to go like. I’ll see you. I’ll see you later.
KAREN: See you on the other side.
See you on the other side. That’s so beautiful though, that he got to be a part of some of it. Yeah. Yeah. He was excited, but he, he was nervous too. I mean, you know, he was nervous to see me doing something that he didn’t know was a natural normal thing
to
JILDA: give birth on your hands and knees to not take medication.
Not needing an epidural advocating for myself, you know, old school, like they don’t understand that there are many different ways to do things. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Back in his generation, they were just presented with, here’s how your birth, the women go in the room and. That’s it. Yeah, and might wait in the waiting room or we’re all drugged and medicated.
KAREN: And yeah, we do what we’re told. Right, right. You know, so what a beautiful thing. And I love that you had the confidence to advocate for yourself and speak up for yourself in that moment, knowing, you know, I don’t think my dad’s comfortable with this and I’m not comfortable with this. So. I feel like it’s a good time for dad to go.
JILDA: Yeah. Okay. Now it’s time for you to go. So back to pushing you know, I really wanted to breathe her out and breathe her out, breathe her down, do my J breathing. I was having a little bit of difficulty with that. I felt like not that she was getting stuck, but I knew something was off. And the reason why that was because she was 11 pounds.
Wow. Did you know she
KAREN: was that heavy? No. No.
JILDA: I
KAREN: had no no idea.
JILDA: Were your boys heavy? No. They were seven pounds. They were little. Little. What? And Karen And she was 11 pounds? It’s like She was 10 pounds, 14 ounces. Yeah. She was massive. Massive.
KAREN: Oh my goodness.
JILDA: I had no idea. And all the nurses
KAREN: Oh
JILDA: my gosh.
They were like, Oh my God. Oh my God. That baby is so big. And they’re like, How much do you think that baby weighs? And I’m like looking at her. I didn’t even know that it was a girl yet at this point. I’m like, Oh my God, I feel like I’m holding a two month old baby. Yeah, I’m like, she, she looks huge. And then that’s when I saw she was a girl and that was like the best thing ever.
KAREN: What did that feel like? Obviously you’ve got this like cannonball sized human coming out of you much more intense and bigger than your boys at seven pounds, but you’re using you’re on your hands and knees. Now you’re not medicated. You can feel everything.
This is an entirely different. ball game now. What did pushing feel like in that moment? How was it, how was it different? Like, what, was it really painful? Was it really intense? Was there a lot of pressure?
JILDA: When she was coming down, it was like on top of each other.
It was surgery after surgery after surge. And I felt my body kind of like just like curling in almost, you know? She came out, it was six minutes from when my water broke 10 centimeters and then she was there. But within maybe like the four or five minutes of pushing, yeah, I was just like curled in the whole time and I was pushing though.
I mean, I physically had, I was straining to get her out because she was so big. the only thing that really helped was opening up my pelvis with my knees together. But I was like, Oh my God, I don’t know if she’s going to come out. And then she, then she just, once you got her head and her shoulders out, you know, she was, she was good.
But you’re doing
KAREN: the breathing to breathe, breathing her down and pushing. Six minutes, not from even like when you started pushing, but from when your water broke at eight centimeters to her being born. Six minutes.
JILDA: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was about like six or seven minutes.
That’s how fast it went. So pushing was like a few minutes of actual like pushing time. And that would have to be so intense. Now, this was so intense. you pushing your seven pound son out that took six hours. Yeah. Do you guys, do you guys like hear, I’m just like, right. I want to make sure women understand because this is so we think that like, Oh, it’s a big baby.
KAREN: It’s going to take hours to push this baby out. And we get all scared about. Like these fear tactics that doctors use against us and what society says is going to be hard because your baby’s big or whatever other reason or you have small hips or it, you know, all the BS we make up and here you are, I just can’t, I’m like laughing because it’s like, this, this is birth right?
This is when we do it the way our bodies are designed to birth. You can push out an 11 pound baby in minutes, but when we hook ourselves up to medicine, make ourselves immobilized in bed, fill ourselves with fear and disturbances and noise, it takes six hours to push out a seven pound baby. You’re lying on your back.
You’re not using biomechanics and gravity. You’re not using your natural birth hormones. It’s like. Everything is so much better when we follow God’s plan for birth. And this is just like night and day difference. And I’m just like in awe of you and your body and how you trusted yourself in that moment.
And you were just, you were pushing, but you knew like, How to go in instead of like in fear running away you were going in and I that almost feels like you know I could feel that like pressure as you’re like going. Yes Describing it like I feel like I’m there
JILDA: It was it rocked my world. And like I said, you know, I was doing I was breathing her down I was doing my J breathing but You know, I felt like at a point she was getting stuck and, and it was just, you know, surge after surge.
And that’s when I was like, okay, I really got to just like push and push. And it was only just a few minutes of that. And then it was like, then it was over. Then she’s good. Did you feel the ring of fire? Somebody just asked me that. I don’t know. I mean, it kind of felt. more. I know I felt the ring of fire with my first one.
The reason why I don’t think I felt it with this. I didn’t tear it this time either. You
KAREN: didn’t
JILDA: tear with an 11 pound baby. Yes, girl.
KAREN: No,
JILDA: no, I didn’t. That’s
KAREN: what I’m talking about. This is the breathing. This is the same. This is the breathing technique I teach. It’s, it’s a game changer. It’s such a game changer.
11 pound baby. When you’re in the right position, working with your body, Breathing that baby down and out. Oh my gosh. This
JILDA: is such a difference. And you know, the, the interesting thing is, you know, I’m a fitness instructor. I worked out 38 weeks, the entire, almost the entire time. And you know, everyone was like, you’re going to have a little baby, you know, you’re going to go early.
And, you know, I’m on my third baby a week late and she was 11 pounds. I mean, you know, it’s. It was something I didn’t really expect, but the one thing that happened that I knew was going to happen was I was going to get the birth that I wanted. Planned.
KAREN: Yeah. You took back your power.
JILDA: I took back my power.
And listen, sometimes things happen. It doesn’t always happen the way you want it to go. You can’t control
KAREN: birth.
JILDA: You can’t control birth. But you can be in charge. Totally. And I think that visualizing and having a support system having my husband really be a part of it as well. And not just like, sitting on the couch, just watching.
No, he, he was involved and he knew my plan too. So yeah, advocate for yourself, find your support system. Read all the books, meditate. It can be done. You just have to have , that willpower, that mindset. I assisted my friend’s natural birth two months ago because of my birth story on your Instagram.
KAREN: Really? She invited you to like be a doula or come and support her?
JILDA: To come and support her. She she was cousins with one of my friends. And when she saw your post, she said, isn’t that so and so’s mom? And she put us together. And so she followed you for, for the longest time. And she said, I want to have a birth story like yours and she rocked it.
And I mean, that made me feel high. Like I did something, she saw that she could do it within herself. It was so cool. And now I want to be a doula. Now I want to
KAREN: do it. I love it. I love it. That’s what happened. That’s exactly how I got into this work. Like, , I heard this could be possible. Yeah, I went for it.
I studied just like you. I prepared. I studied. I read the books. I researched. I hunted for the good birth stories. I found women that had done the kind of births I wanted to do and said, how did you do it? You go all in and then you have it and you start sharing with other people. And this is the power of birth stories.
And the power of sharing our testimonies is that it makes it possible for someone else to do it. Cause it’s not just theory. It’s not just something you read in a book. It’s real life and someone, you know, has done it. And if they can do it, why not you? Right. That’s why I love sharing birth stories like yours, because it tells everyone listening, this is possible.
If, if I can do it, why can’t you? If God can do it for me, why not you? Why not
JILDA: me? Right. Why not me? Why not? Why not? My sister in law said to me, Jill, if anybody can do this, it’s you. And like, I didn’t want to let her down. I didn’t want to let myself down either, but I just, that phrase, like, if anybody can do it, it’s you.
Like What a powerful statement that somebody other than myself could see myself really doing this, you know, it was. And what happened with your
KAREN: friend? Did she have a beautiful birth, like a hospital birth, like all everything
JILDA: she wanted? She went to a birthing center yes, and it was absolutely incredible.
She was amazing and she got exactly what she wanted
KAREN: and I just love it. And I love that. It’s not even dependent on like, you can only have a beautiful, empowering birth at home. Like I, you might actually be the first hospital birth story I’ve shared on my podcast and what a great way to kick it off.
Because. There’s a lot of accounts a lot of birth workers that say oh, you can’t have a physiological birth in a hospital That’s not possible to have a pain free birth in a hospital. It doesn’t support it You know what? When you take charge and you you own your birth like that internal environment is so much more powerful That’s an external environment.
Yep. And yeah, you showed that you rocked it and now you’re showing other women You’re supporting other women to do it and Hopefully going to become a doula. This is like, it’s so beautiful. Let me ask you this, what was your postpartum like with your third? And how was that, was that different than your other two?
JILDA: Totally different. I had the hormones kick in immediately with my first, now he was brought to the NICU. So I, started having intrusive thoughts and my anxiety skyrocketed and I had a very rough postpartum mentally and physically with him. My second was okay. And then with her I felt Okay, like I felt okay.
I wasn’t in any pain at all. Like I said, I didn’t tear. I did bleed a lot after she was born. They did have to give me Pitocin because I was, I did hemorrhage a little bit. And they said just because of how fast she came and how big she was, that makes sense, right? Your
KAREN: hormones have to calibrate to the changes and after your birth, all these hormones shift.
They probably had to play a little catch up to realize, Oh, she’s out. It happened so quick.
JILDA: Yes, exactly. And it, it happened so fast. Like they didn’t even give me a consent for it. They had to give it to me because I was hemorrhaging like pretty hard at that point. So that was a little scary. But then once she started to breastfeed, she latched right away, all of the Hormones were released.
That helped with me not bleed as much too. Yeah. And then we were home the next day. Like I was home the next day. How did you feel? Oh my God. I felt on top of the world. Just like telling every, like, I just felt so freaking strong and powerful. And I was thinking about my mom the whole time. Like,
KAREN: you
JILDA: know, like, yeah.
I could feel my mom. She was so proud of me. And now I have a daughter of my own. And I felt like this triangle of connection between the three of us. And I feel like my mom spiritually gave me that push right as well to, to, to have this birth. She was there.
KAREN: Yeah. You like felt her presence.
JILDA: Oh, my God. And I, I say to everybody that she smelled like my mom when she came out.
Like I could smell her almost. And a medium told me not too long ago that my mom sent the baby to me, you know? Yeah.
KAREN: Wow. That’s so beautiful. Yeah, I love that what would you share with other moms out there who, who are scared of birth or have had traumatic first or second birth experiences? And, you know, Deciding what to do and whether they’re going to, how to, how to prepare for a different kind of birth experience.
JILDA: I would say, you know, once you find out you’re pregnant, it’s the time to start now because if you want to have, a birth experience of your dreams, I wouldn’t wait too late in the game because it does take time to practice. Visualizing things takes time. I mean, it, you can’t just like learn these things overnight.
You know, it’s, it’s like a course you have to study these things. There is no, there’s no love and fear pain. Pain is an illusion. So we have to work around that in a different way. This pain is making you stronger. This pain is getting your baby closer to you. This pain isn’t you. It’s not greater than you.
It is you. I would say study. Talk about it, look at only positive things, don’t look at the what if this happens, what if that happens, be prepared for good things, not bad things.
KAREN: Oh, thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s such a beauty. Such a beautiful story and and such a light and a I think, I feel like it’s just a light and a symbol of hope for so many women who have had bad experiences and Then fear mongered and whether by their own mind or by other people, we just, we percolate on those fears and it can really disempower us.
And sometimes, you know, it takes that courage to stand up and say, you know what? No, I’m going to do it differently. I’m going to go through my fears. I’m going to face them. I’m going to visualize the birth I deserve and that I want. And even if you have an 11 pound baby who says you can’t, why not? Like it’s just to have such a an incredibly empowering birth surrounded by love and support in that peaceful room.
I just encourage anyone listening here to You know, it’s just even as a step of action to take, take a pen and paper and write down what do you really want? If, if it wasn’t up to anybody else and nobody was telling you what to do, if you could have it your way, what kind of birth experience would you want?
What are the things you would want in your birth? How would you want to feel? Where would you want to birth? How do you want to be supported? What do you want to do? And, and then just begin to like, like Jilda said, to visualize those things, to begin to allow those things to transform your mind. Trust.
JILDA: Yeah.
Trust. Trust in yourself. You can do it.
KAREN: I love it so much. Thank you for sharing your incredible sacred story with us. And if anyone wants to connect with you or reach out to you, what’s the best way for them to do that?
JILDA: You can find me on Instagram. My handle is Jilda. Jacked underscore with underscore Jil, J I L with one L.
And part of what I do now is provide a lot of support for women postpartum with their fitness and nutrition mental self help, self care, self love. That’s, that’s what I do. That’s who I am. So I
KAREN: love that. Yeah, your work is so important. And I look forward to seeing you around in these spaces as you’re supporting the postpartum moms and maybe even more moms giving birth.
We need more people like you sharing your light and your, and your stories. So thank you.
JILDA: Thank you so much.
We inherit fears from society, friends, and family so that by the time we get pregnant we believe our body doesn’t know how to birth without medical assistance (No wonder we have a 30% cesarean rate in the US!). Those doubts can quickly erode your peace and confidence. But there’s a better & pain free way…
