When most people think of birth preparation, the focus is usually on the mom. But what about the dads? In this special Father’s Day episode of the Pain-Free Birth Podcast, Karen Welton sits down with her husband, Jonathan Welton, for his first-ever interview on the show. Together, they explore a topic that’s rarely talked about: what it looks like for men to confidently support their partner through a physiological, pain-free birth.
Whether you’re planning a home birth or preparing for an unmedicated hospital birth, this conversation is a must-read (or must-listen) for couples navigating pregnancy together — especially if dad feels unsure, overwhelmed, or like birth is “her thing.”
The Missing Conversation: Why Dads Often Feel Unprepared for Birth
One of the most common experiences for first-time fathers is a quiet sense of panic. They want to be supportive, but they don’t know how.
Jonathan shares that early in their birth journey, he felt completely unequipped — like there were no real resources out there for dads. He bought DVDs off Amazon, sat through Bradley Method classes, and tried to piece together a picture of what his role should be.
But the real shift didn’t come from learning every technical detail about birth. It came from understanding the power of presence.
“You don’t have to know everything about birth. You just need to know how to show up so that she feels safe. And when she feels safe, her body works the way it’s designed to.”
Presence Over Performance: What Women Actually Need in Labor
Karen and Jonathan emphasize something that’s often missed in traditional birth education: birth is spiritual, emotional, and deeply relational.
It’s not just about comfort measures or managing pain. It’s about how a woman feels — in her body, in her space, and with her birth partner.
“When a woman is in labor, she needs to feel safe. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. That’s where your presence as her husband becomes everything.”
Dads don’t need to be experts in anatomy or memorize hospital procedures. But they do need to be grounded. Calm. Attentive. Present.
And often, that means being willing to simply be there — in the intensity, in the waiting, in the surrender — without needing to fix or manage anything.
How to Support a Natural Birth as a Dad: Practical Tools and Mindset Shifts
Here are a few key tips Karen and Jonathan shared for how fathers can support their partner in a natural or pain-free birth:
1. Learn the Power of Your Presence
You are her anchor. You don’t have to talk a lot. You don’t have to do a ton. But you do need to be emotionally available and spiritually grounded.
“Presence isn’t passive. It’s powerful.”
2. Be Her Advocate
In labor — especially during an unmedicated hospital birth — the mother may not be able to speak for herself. As her partner, you may be the one advocating for her birth preferences.
Knowing the birth plan, speaking up for delayed cord clamping, or reminding staff she wants immediate skin-to-skin — these seemingly small things make a big difference.
3. Get Trained
Karen’s Birth Partner Bootcamp and Pain-Free Birth course include specific techniques for partners — like hip squeezes, counter pressure, rebozo techniques, and how to create a supportive birth environment at home or in a hospital.
4. Don’t Be Afraid of Intensity
Birth is intense. That doesn’t mean it’s an emergency. Learning to hold space without fear is one of the greatest gifts a man can offer.
Jonathan shares that he learned to let go of the need to control, and instead focused on creating a calm, grounded presence — even when things felt unpredictable.
Faith, Physiology, and the Theology of Birth
Jonathan, a theologian and author, brought a unique perspective to this episode — especially around the spiritual aspects of birth.
He explains that for many Christian couples, there’s been a misunderstanding about the role of pain in birth. Culturally and even theologically, pain has been accepted as inevitable — even spiritual.
But Jonathan challenges this, pointing back to scripture and the redemptive design of the body.
“We don’t live under the curse. As believers, we can believe for birth to be peaceful, powerful, and aligned with how God designed our bodies to function.”
Together, Karen and Jonathan highlight how faith and physiology are not in conflict — but beautifully intertwined.
What Surprised Him Most: The Unexpected Beauty of Home Birth
Jonathan openly admits he was skeptical about home birth at first. But after watching The Business of Being Born, something clicked.
He realized that home birth wasn’t unsafe — it was actually the default for thousands of years. He began to understand the wisdom of midwives and the sacredness of uninterrupted physiological birth.
Through their three home births, each experience shaped him in different ways:
-
Their first birth was wild, joyful, and mind-blowing — with Karen laughing through transition and saying “I’m having so much fun!”
-
The second birth was long, intense, and physically exhausting — reminding him that birth is both sacred and raw.
-
The third birth was intimate and redemptive — with Jonathan in the tub holding Karen as she birthed their daughter into the water.
Each time, his role evolved — not because he knew more, but because he showed up more fully.
What to Say to the Dad Who’s Still on the Fence
Many women share that they want a natural or home birth… but their partner isn’t on board. Jonathan addresses that hesitation head-on:
“If your partner has a deep desire for this kind of birth and you’re resisting because of fear, it’s time to do some soul work. Birth isn’t about you controlling the outcome. It’s about supporting the woman you love.”
He encourages men to check in with where their fears are coming from — and whether those fears are creating distance instead of connection.
Because, as he says: “How you show up in birth is how she’ll remember you for the rest of her life.”
Why This Conversation Matters More Than Ever
In today’s world of hyper-medicalized birth, many fathers are left out of the equation. They’re told to stay out of the way, sit quietly, or just “support” without ever being taught how.
But birth is a transformational experience for both parents.
When dads are equipped, when they understand their role, when they enter birth not with fear but with strength and faith — the ripple effect is powerful:
-
Women feel safer and more supported
-
Couples bond more deeply through the birth experience
-
Fathers start parenting from a place of presence, not panic
This is the heart behind Karen’s work with Pain-Free Birth. It’s not just about avoiding pain. It’s about restoring the sacredness of birth — and inviting both moms and dads into that story.
Final Encouragement: Your Presence Changes Everything
As Jonathan so beautifully shares:
“You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present. Show up. Stay close. Believe in her. And believe in what’s possible.”
For any dad (or mom!) preparing for birth, this episode is a reminder that birth is not just her journey. It’s yours too.
Ready to Prepare for a Natural Birth—Together?
If you’re ready to transform your mindset and birth with peace and purpose, check out the free Unlocking a Pain Free Birth Masterclass. Discover the 3 keys to a Pain-Free birth so you can experience the joyful, supernatural power of birth the way God designed it.
